LEAGUERS
by Jack Borroughs
Summary: The Epilogue is here: Nemona, Edward, Skinner and Elain are all in cohots to steal that MovieReel of Mina and Dorian, and I fully describe it!
1. PROLOGUE

Writing this was probebly a bad idead, but here it goes.  
  
Rodney Skinner, Elain Quatermain, Nemona, Mina Murray ad Dr. Henry Jekyll were siting at there favourite hangout, a small inn in paris called "Madam Devarges"(1).  
  
Dorian Gray walks in.  
  
Dorian: Hey guys, whatsup?  
  
Mina: Im not talking to you.  
  
Dorian: Your not still mad about me betraying you all arent you?  
  
Mina: Of course I am!  
  
Dorian: Every one else forgave me, Henry, you forgave me right?  
  
Henry: Sure, Could I FORGIVE you anymore?  
  
Dorian: Rodney, Elain, Nemona?  
  
All of the above: Sure.  
  
Dorian: So why dont you?  
  
Mina: You nailed me just to get my blood!  
  
Dorian: Im sorry.  
  
Mina: And then you stabbed me with your sord!!  
  
Dorian: Well you showd me my portrait!!  
  
Mina: Bugger Off.  
  
Doria: WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!  
  
Azmeralda(2) walks by.  
  
Rodney: Hey there Da'lin, How are you Doin'?  
  
Nemona: Both of you just make up, must i take drastic steps.  
  
Henry: Rody, why dont we toddle off?  
  
Rodney: No.  
  
Henry: To the Mollin Rouge.  
  
Rodey: Yaaaaaay!!  
  
Henry: Later.  
  
Skinner and Jekyll run off with boobs and bottoms in mind.  
  
Elain: Aaah, I need a bongshot.  
  
Nemoa: Lets go to an Opium Den.  
  
Elain: Lets!!  
  
Nemona: Later.  
  
Nemona and Quatermain run off with getting high and Nirvana in mind.  
  
Dorian: Have I mentioned I am Gay?  
  
Mina: I knew it, Eyeing Henrys Bum all the time!  
  
Dorian: Well Rodneys is Invisible, what else could i do?  
  
(1) "A Tale of Two Citys" referece.  
  
(2) "Hunchback of Notre Dam" refrence. 


	2. SCENE 1: Guy Talk

(Credits Roll)  
  
Peta Willson as Mina Harker  
  
Shania Connery as Elain Quatermain  
  
Rita Shah as Nemona  
  
Tony Curran as Rodney Skinner  
  
Jason Flemyng as Henry Jekyll  
  
Stuart Townsend as Dorian Gray  
  
Written, Directed and Produced by Devious, The Sardonic One  
  
(Credits End)  
  
Dr. Jekyll wakes up and walks out of his room, which is in the apartment that heand skinner rented in Paris to live in till they get called again by M.  
  
With the worlds most bizzare case of Bed Hair he wallked towards the Bathroom, and opened it to see Ezmerallda standing there scraming as she was suprised by his entrance.  
  
Unforunately for me the Author, the mail readers and a decent amount of the female readers, she was in a bath robe, Damn.  
  
Skinner walks out of his room.  
  
Henry: Rodney, there is a woman in the bathroom, who I dont konw, and worst of all, SHE ISNT EVEN NAKED!!!!!  
  
Rodney: Thatd be Ezmerallda, I met her last nigh.  
  
Henry: Well who is she.  
  
Rodney: I dont know much, she is some kind or performer, and dosent speak a word of English.  
  
Henry: You Slammed a woman you dont even know, who you cant even speak her language?  
  
Rodney: Yeah.  
  
Henry: You are my Hero.  
  
Rodney: Now Ill need your help with something, I want you to break up with her on my behalf.  
  
Henry: I beg your Pardon?!!!!  
  
Rodney: You lived in this country for what?, like twelve years?, you can speak French, right?  
  
Henry: Fine, but why?, she gorgious, shes Switched on, shes a Bit of allright!!!!!  
  
Rodney: Stop Qouting Austin Powers, you see, We dont speak each others language, We have no common intrests,......  
  
Henry: Skinner, Your only intrests are drinking, straking and looking down Minas Blouse!  
  
Rodney: Exactly, shell never want to do this things with me!, plus, she smells like a goat(3) and last ight keept moaning the name of some persomn called Pheobe, Phorbe, Phebos(3), thats it, Phebos, its just not meant to be.  
  
Henry: Oh, fine.  
  
Ezmerallda walks out of the Bathroom, in her robe, Dammit.  
  
She planted a kiss on skinner and said to both of them.  
  
Ezmerallda: Bonjur.  
  
Bonjur is by the way the only word of French I know.  
  
Hennry: (Something in Frnech that included Rodneys name)  
  
Ezmerallda got red faced and pissed and smacked Skinner on the face, then went into skinners room , but unfortunately for us she closed the door so we couldnt see her naked, Damn.  
  
She got out changed and slapped skinner again, then walked out and slammed the door.  
  
Rodney: Two?, what did she do that for?, Henry, what did you say?  
  
Henry: That you said she was Lame in the Sack, takes a few words in any language.  
  
Rodney: Your Evil, but Efficient.  
  
Henry: Anything for you sir.  
  
Henry poures two cups of coffe since its too earley to be drinkig even for skinner, Dorian walks in.  
  
Dorian: Mornin'.  
  
Rodney: 'ello Dorian.  
  
Henry: coffe?  
  
Dorian: No. Did anything last night?  
  
Rodney: Went to a great club downtown called the moulin rouge.  
  
Henry: And saw a man that looked a great deal like Prof. Moriarty.  
  
Rodney: I scored.  
  
Henry: Some woman threw her bra at me with her number on it.  
  
Dorian: What size?  
  
Henry: C.  
  
Dorian: Congradulations, planning to do anything tonight?  
  
Henry: Well, we might ge hustel pool players using Rodneys Invisibility. Why?  
  
Dorian: Thaught i might join you.  
  
Rodney: Fine.  
  
Henry: How are things with you and mina?  
  
Dorian: I think this might be the end of it, last night after you guys left, I told her i was gay.  
  
Henry: YOUR GAY?  
  
Dorian: No.  
  
Rodney: Why did you tell her then?  
  
Dorian: It seamed like a good idea at the time, but Im not, except for about Three minutes in colledge. However i do recall....  
  
(Flashback to July 1989)  
  
Jekyll has took his formulla and transformed into Hyde, who walked out of Henrys Cabin on the Nautiulus and spoted a very drunk and toxicated Dorian Gray.  
  
Dorian: I seen so many faces, I been to many places,.........  
  
Hyde takes Dorian by the shoulders and lifts him in the air so that the yare face to face.  
  
Edward: Look you Girly, Fagidy, Pretty boy, were gona shag, Unnderstod?  
  
Dorian: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, OK!  
  
Dorian and Edward almosat Go at it, but then Steam errupts from within Hyde and he shrinks into Jekyll.  
  
Henry: *Screaming insues*  
  
Henry runs away, dou to the fact that he turned into hYde, his clothes are ript, and they all fall off, So Henry is runing naked, And when skinner sees him he thinks hes straking, so he sheds off his trench coat and joins in the Streaking.  
  
Dorian: The Bastard ran off!, so hes the Wham, Bam thank you Mam type!, well in revenge i shall steal a vile of his formula for M, I hope he blaims the Arabs.  
  
(We now return to the present)  
  
Dorian, Henry, Rodney and Myself all shake our heads to stop the terrefying menatal images.  
  
Dorian: However I was Drunk, I was singing D12 forgods sake!  
  
Henry: Shit, what Hyde craves is his own bussiness.  
  
Dorian: How about we go to that club of yours tonight so that I regain my Masculinety?  
  
Rodney: That would be swell, I got you a T-Shirt by the way.  
  
Skinner gives Dorian a white T-Shirt and dorian reads it.  
  
Dorian: "There is only one thing that I like more than to have a gorgious woman make love to me,..."  
  
He turned the shirt to the other side and continus reading.  
  
Dorian: "And it is to have a Gorgious woman make love to a gorgious woman!"(4)  
  
(3) "Hunchback of Notre dam" refrences.  
  
(4) Sorry, couldnt think of a better way to close this chapter. 


	3. SCENE 2: Girl Talk

Devious, Master of all sardonics, The Runaway from the Insane Asylum of Hell, Is back.  
  
After the First Chpater, I didnt notice Any Reviews, and a few days After Posting the Second, I got arounnd to it.  
  
CLEZ, A.L.Nowicki, Panzergal, Glad to hear that.  
  
Graymoon74: Our Idiotic sence of Humor is the wave of the Future, Never forget that, I am also proud of the Flashback bit, I think Ill have an other flashback.  
  
And as you recuested, Chapter 3 aka SCENE 2.  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
Mina and Elain also rented an Apartment, that was a block away from Rodney and Henrys, but since Elain wasnt there, she figured shed go to the Nautiulus to visit Nemona.  
  
Dorian for your Information had his own House in Downtown paris that he owned from before joining the laegue.  
  
Mina enterd Nemonas study and there she found Elain sleeping and saying something Un-Understandabel, with her head resting on a Jiant Globe, and Nemona was bizarely Floating in Mid-air with her legs and arms in a Yoga Position.  
  
Mina: Um, Nemona?  
  
Nemona opened her Eyes and lost her concntration so she fell down and crashed into the floor.  
  
Nemona: I regret having installed hard wood floors!!  
  
Mina: Sorry, are you allright?  
  
Nemona: Im fine, Indians rarely die of anything aside from Colira.  
  
Mina: How about Elain?  
  
Nemona gets up and looks at Elain.  
  
Nemona: Thats strange, I dont recall ever seing that globe before!!  
  
Nemona spins the globe and Elains head slips off and slams into the floor.  
  
Elain: A Shag!, My kingdom for a Shag!!!  
  
Elain then wakes up and looks around.  
  
Elain: Oh, what a terrbile head-ache!, What am I doing here?  
  
Nemona: Last night we got high, and this morning whe I became sobar I discoverd that I had the ability to fly, and found you glued to the Nemobile!!  
  
Elain: Or in other words, this is wednesday?  
  
Nemona: Yes.  
  
Elain gets up.  
  
Mina: What were you dreming?, your were beging for a shag!  
  
Elaing gets blushy and then raises her head in false Pride.  
  
Elain: Dont jump to any conclusions, I dreamed that I needed a Rug and couldnt find one!, but enough about me, how are you and dorian?  
  
Mina gets Aggravated and sits down.  
  
Mina: Hes Gay!  
  
Nemona: Thats intresting!!!  
  
Elain: Not that Interesting, I always knew on a certin level.  
  
Mina: So, Its safe to say that were Done. For Good.  
  
She then gets teary eyed, Nemona and Elain are sadend by her and to try to console her.  
  
Nemona: There, there.  
  
Elain: Owww, Come here, you, Sweetie Vampy bear!!  
  
They Both Hug her(5), and when she calms down a bit they back off a bit.  
  
Elain: You know what?, your better off without him!  
  
Nemona: Who needs him?  
  
Elain: I mean, take away the good looks, the wealth ad eternal youth, what does hehave then?  
  
Nemona: A visible gay Skinner!!  
  
Elain: Hey perhaps you can hook up with Jekyll, hes kinda cute, and hes Loaded!!  
  
Mina: Maby..  
  
Nemona: YOU WOULDNT DEAR!  
  
Mina: What?!  
  
Nemona: I didnt say anything, its all in your head.  
  
Mina is confused.  
  
Mina: By the way, where did Sawyer go? Huh, Mr. Sardonic One?  
  
Grrrrr, was hoping no one will notice, you see Miss Harker, I hate that twelve year old, the SOB had to go.  
  
Mina: I see, but it could come back to haunt you.  
  
Shes right, Maby Iwil include him in a small role,In which I mock and Ridicule him of cours?!!(6)  
  
Nemona: I have just the thing to chear you up!  
  
Elain: A blunt?  
  
Nemona: No...  
  
Elain: Bong?  
  
Nemona: No!  
  
Elain: Then its a Hubbel Bubbel!!!  
  
Nemona: Ughhhh, Broad Arrow gave me three tickets for the Stones concert tonight, wanna go?  
  
Ealin: Sure!  
  
Mina: Sure!  
  
(5) Im squirting some myself.  
  
(6) *Devious rubs his hands togeather in a Evil manner*  
  
________________________________________________________  
  
I konw this chapter is crappy, but the next will be Priceless, Dont forget to review. 


	4. SCENE 3: Stones

Thanks for the reviews, Vaudevillian, I use all those Exclamation Points because the dot on my keyboard isnt doing that well! see what i mean! I sometimes cut and paste the dots.  
  
On with the Insanity.........  
  
SCENE3  
  
Henry, Dorian and Skinner were walking out of the Moulin Rogue, or Kicked out to be more exact.  
  
Rodey: Its Henrys fault!  
  
Henry: How come?!  
  
Rodey: You lived in here long enough to know it, why didn't you warn me about this?  
  
Dorian: Skinner, everyone knows that you shouldn't wear a "Manchester United" Jersey in France!, you were practically begging to be thrown out!  
  
Rodney: Now what?  
  
They pass next to a Theatrical Venue, there is a Ticket Scalper trying to sell a few tickets.  
  
Scalper: Guys, Want some tickets?  
  
Dorian: For what?  
  
Scalper: It's the Stones farewell concert.  
  
Henry: Why not?, Eighty year old men singing Rock and Roll, Just as well as Semi-Nude French Danes dancing' about, How Much?  
  
Scalper: Well, seeing that it is there farewell Concert, and they are the stones, plus these are 5th row seats, say 500 pounds a peace?  
  
Rodney: Are you mad? That's a bloody fortune!!  
  
Scalper: Have I mentioned it's the Farewell concert?  
  
Henry: Twice, and you should know this is the 17TH FAREWELL CONCERT!!  
  
Dorian: Ill pay you 200 a peace, and you throw in a backstage pass.  
  
Scalper: Fine, your lose then. *grins*  
  
The scalper walks away, Dorian and Henry turn to skinner.  
  
Dorian: Got the tickets?  
  
Skinner waves three tickets and a backstage pass.  
  
Rodney: The block never saw it coming!  
  
////////////////MEANWHILE.  
  
Elain, Mina and Nemona March into the same building.  
  
Mina: No!  
  
Elain: Yes!  
  
Mina: No!  
  
Elain: Yes!  
  
Mina: No!  
  
Elain: Yes!  
  
Mina: Elain knock it off, I would have known if Keith is indeed a vampire!  
  
/////////////Halfway during the concert  
  
Mick: ...but its all right now, in fact its a gas, Jumping Jack Flash, its a Gas, Gas, Gas.(7)  
  
The Men were I the 5th Row, whereas the Girls were all the way in the cheap seats, also know as the nosebleed section.  
  
All of a sudden, a Shevy drove in, and three men extended their arms out of it holding Machine Guns.  
  
Machine Guns: RATATATATATATATATATATATATTAAAA!  
  
Many bullets hit Keith Richards in the chest, and smoke started pouring out.  
  
Keith: Awww!, S*!, S*!, S*!, S*!, S*!, S*!, The F*ers Shot me in L* Chest, now all the Stuff i been loading into my Lungs since December will be wasted away!  
  
The Rest of the band take shelter behind Mick, or Micks bottom Lip to be more exact, Which starts bleeding Collagen.  
  
The the men who committed the Driveby get out of the car, there are Five of them, All of them are whiter than the White Stripes, they are wearing Gigantic Basketball Jerseys and very baggy trousers, and most Importantly, Each of them has a Very Thick and large Chain Hanging around his Neck.  
  
Keiths Costum Made Bong: OH NO!, ITS A WHITE RAP GROUP!!!!!(8)  
  
Screaming Insues and the band flees, the audience try to run away but the bloody Rapers have barricaded the doors.  
  
But where are the League among all of this?  
  
Up at the Cheap seats.  
  
Elain: Good God!, its a bloody Rap Group!!  
  
Nemona: And they came before the stones got to "Paint it black"(9)!, The Nerve!!  
  
Mina: Oh dear, what shall we do?  
  
Elain: We have to take them out, by the time there done with this crap, all these stone fans would have commited suicide!!  
  
Down at the Fifth row.  
  
Dorian: Henry, transform into Hyde, we have to rescue them.  
  
Henry: That wont Do, Hyde is a NWA fan.  
  
Rodney: Damn you Author, First you get us Kicked out of the club, then you get in these Rapers, and Now we cant use Hyde!!!  
  
Believe me Skinner, Im Kicking Myself.  
  
Two of the Rapers start singing, while the third is the DJ and the other two are Franticly Break Dancing.  
  
Raper#1: Im a white boy and I Rap about, Gettoes, Hoes being a Hard Knock, *beep*, but in fact i am a high society sissy who never been to a Hood and is scared of clowns, I even am Virgi!  
  
Nemona run to the Exits and Kicks it down with a Revolving Bicycle Kick, to reveal many Rapers standing behind it who try to hold back the Audience,   
  
Nemona fights them off and the Audience start Escaping, while Elain heads to another door, Blow it open, and shoots off the Rapers behid it, Mina shapeshifts into a Flock of Batts and fleew towards the stage and Faught the DJ and the two dancers, Dorian and Henry headed to the stage and fight the two singers and Skinner threw off his Jersey and the rest of his clothes and went to help Nemona dispode of the Evil Rapers.  
  
But when the coast was clear..  
  
When the screaming was no more..  
  
Whe the Raping was done..  
  
In came the Fuzz!  
  
(7) The song would be "Jumping Jack Flash" of course.  
  
(8) At this poit, I, Devious, Otherwise the Author, Scream in Disgust.  
  
(9) "Paint it black" is my favourite.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
Remember last Chapter when I said that this would be priceless?  
  
I LIED!!!!!  
  
Or have I?  
  
Review and Tell me, Why dont you? 


	5. SCENE 4: The League behind Bars

The League were in a cell in a police station near the venue where the concert was held, Nemona, Elain and Henry were standing next to the Chambers gate discussing some important matter.  
  
Dorian and Mina were siting on a bench, even though they were not speaking to each other.  
  
  
  
Dorian looked at the Miror next to Henry, to see Jekylls reflection, or Hyde actually, looking back at Dorian with a smile and Drolling.  
  
Dorian looked away with fear which Mina noticed.  
  
Mina: What is it?  
  
Dorian: Nothing! Hyde isnt lusting for me, thats for sure!  
  
They sat silently for a few moments.  
  
Dorian: Mina...  
  
Mina: Dorian...  
  
Dorian: You go first.  
  
Mina: Thank you, Dorian, I been thinking.....  
  
Dorian: Havent you ever done that before?  
  
Mina: I have *cough*Fag*cough*......  
  
Dorian: I AM AS STRAIGHT AS THEY COME!!!  
  
Mina: Realy?  
  
Dorian: Yes really.  
  
Mina: But you said...  
  
Dorian: A few years back I also said that I Wrote the Bible.  
  
Mina: Rrrrright, that was your Pick up line, Eh?  
  
Dorian: Yep, you were saying?  
  
Mina: Oh, As I said, I been thinking, Now that were over, Regardless of you being or being Not Gay....  
  
Dorian: I am not, Just cause I Live in the east london docks dosent mean...  
  
Mina: Ahem, Regardles of that, I think we should call it quits.  
  
Dorian: Your Right.  
  
Mina: .... And even though we are going to be hating Each other right now, we should try to be decent towards One Another, at least for the sake of the League functioning at excellent mode, till we become friends again, Agree?  
  
Dorian: Absoloutley.  
  
Mina: And for the sake of not hanging on, i think we should return the stuff that we gave each other threwout our relationship.  
  
Dorian: Such as My Pimp Hat?  
  
Mina: What? I didnt take that!  
  
Dorian: Yes you did!  
  
Mina: You must have me confused with someone else.  
  
Dorian: No its you, If I remember correctly, I was....  
  
(Flashback to July 1899)  
  
Mina: .........Here he is.  
  
Mina showed Dorian his Picture.  
  
Dorian: Nooooooooooo!  
  
Dorian then ages at accelerant rate, and as the Master on season one of Buffy, he quickly becomes a Skelleton with some festering flesh hanging on him.  
  
Mina: Wow, that was some progressive shit!!, wish I could bring him back to life and show him the portraoit again. Huh, Might as well Raid the Ice-Box and loat his Pad.  
  
Mina heads towards a Victorian Mini-Fridge and opens it.  
  
Mina: Ugh! A salad and Soya-burger! My God! I shaged a Vegetarian! THE SHAME!  
  
Mina backs off in disgust, looks aroud ad spots Dorians LP-Record collection.  
  
Mina: Korn(10), Korn, Korn, Korn, Puddle of Mudd(11), Korn, Korn, Puddle of Mudd? SCORE!!  
  
She takes the Black Sabath LP and looks around some more, she steals an Autograohed copy of Oscar Wilds "A woman of no importance", a black Lava Lamp and a Shaft Poster, and she heads out, but before oppening the door, she looks back and sees something that she fancies.  
  
Minna: WHAT A BITCHIN' PIMP HAT!!  
  
She steals the Hat as well.  
  
(We now return to the present)  
  
Dorian: And I want my other stuff as well, specially the Shaft poster!  
  
Mina: Pfft, Fine, Ill get you the Book, Lamp, Poster and LP.  
  
Dorian: And the Hat!  
  
Mina: ....and the hat.  
  
Dorian: Tonight, at my place, you bring my stuff, ill bring yours.  
  
Mina: Better make it at Henry and Skinners.  
  
Dorian: Fine.  
  
Meanwhile.  
  
Nemona: ....and the guy turns out to be the other guy as well!  
  
Henry: And there I was thinking that I am the worlds most bizzare case of split personality!!  
  
Elain: What was the name of that movie again?  
  
Nemona: F.........(12) LOOK! HERE COMES SKINNER WITH THE KEYS!!!  
  
They all look and see a bunch of keys floating and approuchig, and then, one of them enter the look and turns and the door swings open.  
  
Rodney: And off We go.  
  
They get out, Dorian avoids passing next to the mirror in fear of Hyde leaping out and....... Being nasty.   
  
Elain: How about the guards?  
  
Rodney: Out of the picture.  
  
Nemona: Knocked them out?  
  
Rodney: No, told them some of my Blonde Jokes, they laughed till they passed out.  
  
Henry: Uh!  
  
Dorian: Why didnt you just knock them out?  
  
Rodney: I was initially planing to, but the Sardonic one didnt want to Jeopradize the rating of this Fic by adding violence.  
  
Henry: I see, but what about all those Rapers we killed?  
  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! THE MAGGOTS HAD IT COMING!!  
  
(10) Sturt Townsend who portrays Dorian Gray in LXG, stared as Lestat in "Queen of the damned", and in it his singing voice was provided by the lead singer of Korn.  
  
(11) In case you dont know, Puddle of Mudd would be the greatest Grunge Rock group since Nirvana.  
  
(12) The movie they are talking about would be -if you want to know and risc spoiling a great movie, then Remove Vowels, except for I and U- "Faeiogoaht Oaecleauob" 


	6. SCENE 5: Elain is a Perv!

The League, except for Dorian and Mina, were at Elains apartment, watching the movie that Nemona recomended, And they have reached the end, as Buildings start to crumbel, and credits roll.  
  
Elain: Wow!  
  
Henry: I second that.  
  
Rodney: How confusing!  
  
Nemona: Want to see it again?  
  
The Rest: Sure.  
  
Nemona loads the first reel into the Projector.  
  
Elain: Umm, Before we watch it again, I want to ask, before the credits, did anyone notice something?  
  
Rodney: Like?  
  
Elain: Anything out of the Ordinary.  
  
Nemona: Like?  
  
Elain: Anything!  
  
Henry: Elain, just say it.  
  
Elain: I was wondering if anyone saw, right before the Credits, a certin Mr. John Cox?(13)  
  
Nemona (Out ragious tone): ELAIN!  
  
Elain: Or Dick Johnson if your American.  
  
Rodney: Ewwwwwww!  
  
Elain: What, do you have something against Americas?  
  
Henry: Thats it! First you traid one of the Nautiupocks for a bucket of Fried Chicken, then you get glued to the Nemobile, and now your seing Male Reproduction Organs that arent there! as soon as we get out of paris, your going to seek proffesional help.  
  
Elain: But why?  
  
Henry: Cause your a Sex Addict and a Pot Head, Mam!  
  
Elain: But there realy was one, and you cant tell me what to do, Dr. Wimpo!  
  
Nemona: Thats it little Lady, YOUR GROUNDED, No Phone, No Drinking and No Target Practise, GO TO YOUR ROOM, NOW!  
  
Elain: I HATE YOU!  
  
Elain storms off into her room, and slams the door behind her, the rest look upset, Nemona frowns, Rodney puts his head down, Jekyll is.......as he was in the movie before being transformed into Chandler Bing in this Fic.  
  
Rodney: Kids! What are you gonna do? One day they are little angels, Crying from Bamby, all they want to do is eat Ice-cream and never bath, then, BOOM!! they demand space, privacy and permession to have a belly ring, Ill tell ya, Its BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC THESE KIDS LISTEN TO THESE DAYS!!!!  
  
Henry: You nailed it tim.  
  
Rodney: What?  
  
Henry: TIM, The-Invisible-Man.  
  
Rodney: I see, never call me that again.  
  
Nemona: Still want to see the movie again?  
  
Skinner, Jekyll: OK.  
  
Minutes later, Dorian arives, the three Leaguers greet him.  
  
Rodney: 'ello!  
  
Nemona: Namasti.  
  
Henry: Wasuuuuuuup!  
  
Dorian: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii.  
  
Nemona: Every thing OK?  
  
Dorian: Eh.  
  
Henry: Want to watch a movie?  
  
Dorian: No, I was in the neighbor hood and thought of poping in and asking If I can borrow your place tomorrow night(14)?  
  
Henry: Why?  
  
Dorian: Mina and I decided to offecially call it quits, and tonight we shall exchange the stuff we gave each other.  
  
The Rest "Sempathetic groan": Uhhhhhhh.  
  
Rodney: Ok, you can borrow it.  
  
Dorian: I know, By the way, Is She here?  
  
Nemona: No.  
  
Dorian: How abut Elain?  
  
Henry: Shes Grounded.  
  
Dorian: Why?  
  
Rodney: Because.  
  
Dorian: Longer.  
  
Henry: Shes Imagining Male Reproductive Organs.  
  
Dorian: Longer than what i wanted, but thanks.  
  
Dorian Leaves, Nemona turns to Henry and Rodney.  
  
Nemona: Guys, you know what im thinking?  
  
Rodney: Are you thinking that the Special Branch dosent pay us at all?  
  
Nemona: No.  
  
Henry: Are you thinking that "Gladiator" was a very Overated movie?  
  
Nemona: No.  
  
Elain (From Behind the Door): Are you thinking that you might have saw it as well?  
  
Nemona: Ughhhhhhh, your still grounded, Im thinking that Dorian and Mina might get back togeather.  
  
Henry: But dorian said.....  
  
Nemona: It Dosent Matter, look, they will go threw there stuff, start remeniseng, then before anyone knows it, there back on the good foot doing the bad thing.  
  
Rodney: Again with the Austin Powers Punchlines!!  
  
Sorry ba..... dude.  
  
Henry: I see where your going, we should actually invade there right of privacy and spy on them!!  
  
Nemona: Yeah, ill have some of my crew rig your place with Bugs, so they will never know!!!  
  
Rodney: You can do that?  
  
Nemona: Yes, its no biggie, all I need is an hour.  
  
Rodney: Um, Nemona, did you ever rig our cabins on the Nautiulus with Bugs, Specially my cabin on the morning of December the 17th of 1899?  
  
Nemona: No.  
  
Nemona: *gigels*  
  
Elain (from behind the door): *Laughs her ass of*  
  
Rodney: ITS NOT FUNNY!!  
  
Henry: MEN ARE VERY SENSETIVE ABOUT THAT SUBJECT, YOUY BITCHES!!!  
  
Rodney and Henry storm off.  
  
(13) Just so you know, In the movie they are watching, there realy is a single frame shot of a "you know what" right before the end credits. therefore, Elain isnt really a pervert.  
  
(14) Keep in mind, the stones concert were after midnight, which makes the Jail Chapter at Dawn, therefore, this Chapter occurs on the same day as the previous chapter. 


	7. SCENE 6: The Final Phase of the breakup

'ello freaky Da'lins, This is the 7th Chapter otherwise SCENE 6, First of all, a shout to A.L. Nowicki, I want to say that Unforunately Dorian will get back his Pimp Hat, and I am not truley shore if Dorian and Mina will get back togeather, gues we all have to wait and see, HOWS THAT FOR A CLIFFHANGER???  
  
  
  
SCENE 6  
  
Nemoas Crew Men had just left after installing the Bugs, Nemona, Henry and Skinner were left.  
  
Nemona: Ill have to leave, Ill be in the Car, as soon as they get here, Hurry downstairs, the Bugs are set to Transmit on a certin Frequency that I shall recive in the Car.  
  
Nemona then runs off, Minutes Later Dorian arrives with a ShoeBox tucked under his arm.  
  
Dorian: Hi.  
  
Rodney: Hi.  
  
Henry: Hi.  
  
Rodney: All set?  
  
Dorian: Yep.  
  
Rodney: Well toddle off then.  
  
Dorian: Strip Club?  
  
Henry: OK!!  
  
Henry and Rodney toddle off, Minutes later Mina arrives with a Shoebox of her own.  
  
Mina: Hi.  
  
Doria: Hello.  
  
Mina: How youve been?  
  
Dorian: You know, same-o, same-o, How about you?  
  
Mina: Im Fine.  
  
A Pause.  
  
Mina: Lets just do what we came here for. *Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here is your Poster.  
  
Dorian: Dear ol shaft, you know were both complicated men who nooe understandes but our wo...... Never mind. *Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here is your Hair Straightner.  
  
Mina: You took it? and here I was Blaming Sally Foster(15)!*Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here is your lava lamp.  
  
Dorian: *Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here is your "Abraham Say RELAAAAAX!!" T-Shirt.  
  
Mina: *Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here is your Bowling Ball.  
  
Dorian: Thank you. *Extends hand into ShoeBox* this is your "Colinary Delights of the Transelvanian Cuisine" cook book.  
  
Mina: *Extends hand into ShoeBox* This is your Oscar Wild book.  
  
Dorian: Glad to see your returning the stolen goods. *Extends hand into ShoeBox* This is your Nerf Heder record.  
  
Mina: *Extends hand into ShoeBox* "Puddle of Mudds Come Clean".  
  
Dorian: How about the Hat?  
  
Mina: *Reluctantly Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here you go.  
  
Dorian: Aaaaaaah, I love this hat. *Puts it on, Extends hand into ShoeBox* A portrait of you and some guy who is giving you a piggie back ride, you left it with me that time you went to Romania.  
  
Mina: Thank you, This guy would actually be that Nameless Monster of Victor Frakinstien, anyway *Extends hand into ShoeBox* Here is your ........ Portrait.  
  
Dorian: Than..... ARE YOU MAD? PUT THAT AWAY, COVER IT UP!! *Shields his Eyes*  
  
Mina: Oh sorry, Forgot all about that. *Covers Portrait with a large cloth*  
  
Dorian: Bygons.   
  
Mina: I think were done.  
  
Meanwhile\\\\\\\\  
  
In front of the Apartment Building, In Nemonas Car.  
  
Rodney: What?  
  
Henry: I thought there would be Remenising and Screwing and Stuff.  
  
Nemona: *Shocked*  
  
Dorian: Wait, there is still one more thing.  
  
Nemona: Thank god!  
  
Henry: There is still hope!  
  
Mina: What is it?  
  
Dorian: Well *Extends hand into ShoeBox* There is this Movie Reel, the one i made of you when we first met.  
  
Nemona: A reel? of what?  
  
Rodney: N, think dirty thoughts.  
  
Nemona: Oh!  
  
Mina: What movie? Oh that movie *blushes*, I thought I told you toi get rid of it!  
  
Dorian: I tried but couldnt bear! You were so beautifull in it!  
  
Mina: Oh *becomes touched, and squirts one* That is the sweetest thing any one has ever told me!  
  
Mina takes the Reel, and puts it in her shoebox with the rest of her stuff.  
  
Mina: Bye.  
  
Mina bails, Dorian looks depressed and sits down.  
  
Dorian: Bummer!  
  
Nemona: How...... What a Bummer!!  
  
Rodney: Ditto.  
  
After a pause.  
  
Henry: Do You know what Im thinking Rodey?  
  
Rodney: I thik I do Doctor.  
  
Henry: WE Must get our hands on that Reel.  
  
Rodney: Exactly.  
  
(15) That would be a character from a Mark Twain story with Thirty Thousand Dollars in the title.  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
  
That was chapter seven, I hope to have the fic finished be A week from today, so that I can get started on My next LXG fic, It shall be a Humor\Action\Adventure set in the year 200?, it will probebly be titled the Bureau of Extraordinarys.  
  
By the way, I heared the strangest thing the other day, I heared that Reviews Dont Cost a thing, CAN YOU BELEAVE IT? keep em commin', the reviews that is. 


	8. SCENE 7: Elain isnt a Perv!

I probebly posted this chapter along with the previous one, so I didnt get Reviewed for the last one.  
  
But someone called "St. Oz of Fury and Vengeannce" e-mailed me with a Lingthy well built review of all Previous Chapter, I shall answer him now.  
  
For Prologue: Sorry, I was Under the Effect of Hubbel-Bubbel when I wrote it, Glad you liked the (WE WERE ON A BREAK) line.  
  
For SCENE 1: I know that the time line doset work, but a dont really care about such matters, Glad you liked the Flashback and Jekylls Evilness, by the way Jekyll strikes me as someone who raised major hell back in the day.  
  
For Scene 2: Im not Very Proud about it, but Im glad you liked the Girly Talk and the Vampy Bear thing.  
  
For Scene 3: The Chapter sucked, Ill give you that, but you have to admit that Keiths talking Bong was cool.  
  
For Scene 4: Im sorry Hydes lust made you scared.  
  
For Scene 5: You should see the movie, very  
  
cool, Turning Elain into a 13 year old teenager was wrong, Haggard will probebly beat me up in the after life. But I plan to do it in this chapter as well.  
  
Ad Actually, Dorian=Ross, Henry-Chandler, Rod=Joey, Mina=Rachel, Nemona and Elain dont relate to anybody.  
  
SCENE 7  
  
Nemona knocked on the door of the grounded Elain.  
  
Nemona: Elain, Honey, Are you there?  
  
Elain: Unforunatrlly I am.  
  
Nemona: Look, Im sorry, We watched the end of the movie frame by frame and did see Mr. Dick Cox....  
  
Elain: ITS JOHN COX!  
  
Nemona: John Cox, Anyway, we all apologhize and you may come out of you room.  
  
Elain: No thank you, Im startig to love this Chamber.  
  
Nemona: Well I got you a gift, Its a Pink Bong!!  
  
Elain: No thank you, Mina gave me one last Earth day.  
  
Nemona: Not like this one, its Autographed by two men you like so much.  
  
Elain: Who?  
  
Nemona: Youl have to come out and see.  
  
After a pause, Elain comes out and grabs a gift wraped box from Nemona, opens it and grabs the Drug Smooking Device.  
  
Elain: LIKE, OH MA GOD, SILENT BOB AND JAY *Jumps up and down like a teenager, and gives a high pitched girly scream*  
  
Nemona: Forgave me?  
  
Elain: Sure, get me some dope to try out this bad boy.  
  
Nemona: Later, Campion Bond will be coming in a few hours, and we must meet him on the Nautiulus, so he can berief us on our new mission, needless to say, we need our leader.  
  
_____________________  
  
That was the 8th, Most of you hate it, Flames are welcomed, Id rather have you setme on fire than not get your reviews, so send em. 


	9. SCENE 8: Mr Bond

All six leaguers were in Nemos study, ahem, Nemonas study, aboard the Nautiulus anticipating the arrival of there Superior, Mr. Campion Bond.  
  
Dorian, Nemona, Mina and Elain looked calm, Henry didnt seem thrilled about leaving paris, but Rodney was obviously depressed.  
  
Mina: Whats wrong Rodney?  
  
Rodney: Its just, I love this rude, smelly, vulgar country, I dont want to leave.  
  
Campion Bond arrives.  
  
Campion: Howdy!  
  
Dorian: What?  
  
Campion: Its the equizellant of 'ello in american, Nice Pimp Hat by the way, Anyway, Im here to disscus the daetails of your latest mission, but before doing so, there are some maters I have to clear up.  
  
Rodney: Like what?  
  
Campion: Well to begin with, some one of you decided to visit the faboulous Moulin Rouge night club, AND BOUGHT IT CHARGING THE BRANCH FOR IT AS EXPENSES, any idea who did that Mr. Skinner?  
  
Rodney: *Nervous* No?  
  
Campion: Really? cause your name is on the Invoice, but that dosent matter, Luckily the Duke of Yorkshire visited and decided to create a frenchise in England. So just for this time, your off the hook.  
  
Rodney: *Releaved* Thank God!  
  
Campion: Moving along, after your last mission with Dr. Moreau, the Prime Minister was very pleased with your succes that he sent a telegram of thanks, and in return he recived a very vulgar response...  
  
Nemona: What kind of response?  
  
Campion: Well, it containd recomedations of Activities that he could practise with a Broomstick, the Horse he rides on and WD40. any idea who done it?  
  
The League: *Silent*  
  
Henry, Mina and Elain: *nervous*  
  
Campion: Care to explain? Doctor?  
  
Henry: Why do you think it was me?  
  
Campion: It was signed "From the Doc, the Hunter and the Vamp"  
  
Mina: Damn.  
  
Henry: Well you see sir, I had just woke up, and I didnt have much sleap, so naturally i was cranky, and for your Information, the WD40 was Hydes Idea.  
  
Campion: Fine, how about you miss?  
  
Mina: Ok, No1: I was hungry, No2: It was that time of the month, besides, we all thought it was some sort of Joke, we didnt think it was truley the Prime Minister.  
  
Campion: Ok, how about you Elaimn, estamed leader of the group, the Great white Hunter? Wait, let me guess, you were High!  
  
Elain: WHAT?, YOU THINK IM A DRUG ADDICT? PRESPTEROUS! HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH ALLEGATIONS?!  
  
Campion: I appologize mam, what was your excuse?  
  
Elain: I was High!  
  
Campion: Thats what I said!  
  
Elain: Well, you should have given me the benefit of the doubt. You Tub of Lard!  
  
Campion: Lard?!, youl have to eat lard after the pay cut youl get, unless you apologize!  
  
Elain: Sorry.  
  
Campion: Moving along, in these folders you get information on your upcomming mission. I would have briefed you, but The Sardonic One has been abel to come up with a mission. *Passes Folders* Any Questions? *No one asks* Ajorned.  
  
Bond leaves, And The League look into the Folders.  
  
Rodney: Las Vegas? sounds like a square convention! *Bursts into tears*  
  
Henry: *Consoling tone* There, there.  
  
Elain: Whare?  
  
Dorian: Well skinner, Las Vegas is Mens heaven, there is Lechor, Gambeling, Tom Jones, Boxing, Showgirls and Legalized Prostetution!  
  
Rodney: Moral Degradation? YAY! *stops crying*  
  
Nemona: When do we leave?  
  
Mina: Next week.  
  
Elain: *Pissed* Where?  
  
Nemona: Want to do something as a farewell to paris?  
  
Elain: WH..... OH, Bugger that!  
  
Dorian gets up, puts on his coat ad grabs his cane.  
  
Dorian: Raincheck, I have a meating toight with my Brokers. *Leaves*  
  
Henry: I have hops of geting some tonight! so soory, but no.  
  
Elain: I thought of staying in tonight and not geting High for once.  
  
Rodney: Im up for it. How about you mina?  
  
Nemona: She has a date!  
  
Henry: With who?  
  
Nemona: A Vampire guy she met the other day.  
  
Mina: I can speak for myself you know!  
  
Henry: Does Dorian know?  
  
Mina: No.  
  
Henry: Hes going to be crushed! Dont you think you should wait? Its too soon anyway.  
  
Elain: I beg to differ my Invisible friend, the best way to recover from a broken heart is to get right on the wagon.  
  
Rodey: Saddle.  
  
Elain: What?  
  
Rodey: Saddle, not wagon, Wagon is used for Alchoholism. Saddle is used for Love life.  
  
Elain: I said Saddle!  
  
Rodey: You said wagon!  
  
Elain: I said Saddle!  
  
Rodey: You said wagon!  
  
Elain: I said Saddle!  
  
Rodey: You said wagon!  
  
Elain: I said Saddle!  
  
Rodey: You said wagon!  
  
Elain: I said Saddle!  
  
Rodey: You said wagon!  
  
Elain: I said Saddle!  
  
Rodey: You said Saddle!  
  
Elain: I said wagon!  
  
Rodney: I rest my case.  
  
Elain: Grrrrr.  
  
Nemona: Great, we went from Austin Powers to Bugs Bunny!  
  
Mina: Look, Im going on a date, cause I chose to, and I would appreciate it if no one would tell doria, understood?  
  
The Rest: Yes.  
  
Elain: I said Saddle.   
  
___________________________________________________  
  
Alright My Freaky Darlings, the Next Chapter will be the last, then there will be an Epilogue.  
  
Your Reviews, Flames and Prases are Equally welcomed, as always. 


	10. SCENE 9: The Inqueries of Dorian

Ok, as it turns out, For some reason or another, I cant recive Unsigned Reviews, which Explains why people keep reiewing me on my E-Mail, If some one can help with that, Id be most gratefull.  
  
Ripper187: WHAT? YOU NEVER HEARED OF NIRVANA OR P.O.M.!!! *pipes down*, you should, you dont know whatr your missing.  
  
Devious666: Your name sounds fameliar! glad you like the second Chapter, Im also sad i didnt see that Gypsy bum *pours Icey water on self to prevent cloth ripage*.  
  
Avenging_Eagplant: Im glad you liked both flashbacks, I might do a between the scenes Parody.  
  
Alexander2020: you say your the real Sardonic One? well then, I must be the China knock-off.  
  
Elizabeth_The_Dark: It takes a Extraordinary woman to Type who Typed about Peta Willson! but yes I agree, thats one Fine Bum, with acting skill too.  
  
Elain_Quatermain: Im sorry i used your name, but glad your friends liked the Character. Please dont beat me up with an Elephant gun.  
  
Ally_the_Vamp: Hehehhe, I originaly wanted to Have Mina give Hyde the piggie back ride, but changed my mind.  
  
DarkAngel88: See the replies in the begining of Chapter 8, by the way, I originally wanted to have the Charcters (Captian Nemo, Dorian Gray, Rodney Skinner, Tom Sawyer, Elain Quatermain, Henryeta Jekyll, Edwina Hyde and Mina Harker) but it got crowded, so I got rid of sawyer and limited Hyde.  
  
On with the Parody, this Chapter will be the Pre-last, then the last, then an Epilogue.  
  
SCENE 9  
  
The Brokers or Dorian had bad Buretus and couldnt stop Shitin', so his meating with them was Posponed, and after hearing the Rest earlyer that day talking about having fun, he decided to Join them, to keep his mind off things.  
  
To the Nautiuls he he headed, and as he Enterd the Library, he found a twitching Elain laying on the sofa.  
  
Elain: H-h-hhi.  
  
Dorian: Elain, are you OK?  
  
Elain: Y-yes, why?  
  
Dorian: Well, your twitching.  
  
Elain: Really? I didnt know that.  
  
Dorian: Is there a reason for the twitching?  
  
Elain: Well, I decided to not get high toight for a Change.  
  
Dorian: I see, where are the others?  
  
Elain: Henrys back at his palce, Rod and N are here, and Mina is on a date....  
  
Dorian: A DATE?  
  
Elain: Damn, I said too much, why did I choose tonight to not get high?  
  
Dorian: A DATE?  
  
Elain: Yes, A date, now that you two are over she has evry right to date.  
  
Dorian: Well, who is he?  
  
Elain: A Nice Vampire Fellow, says he works with one of the Elder Vampires, Viktor it think.  
  
Dorian: The Elder is Viktor? Have you met this Vampire Chap?  
  
Elain: Yes.  
  
doria: Describe him.  
  
Elain: Tall, Medium build, long black hair....  
  
Dorian: Answers to Kravin(16)?  
  
Elai: Yes! do you know him?  
  
Doria: OF COURSE I DO! KRAVI IS THE BIGGEST BLOOD SUCKIG ASSHOLE AROUND! I have to get to them, where did they go?  
  
Elain: First, You have no bussiness going there, Secod, Mina is a big girl who can rely on herself.  
  
Dorian: But I must go, Kravin is a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* !!!!! and Mina is my friend and collegue, and I....... tell me where did they go?  
  
Elain: I dont really know, ask Nemona or Rodney, theyll know.  
  
Dorian hurrys off in search for the Pirate or thug, he finds Rodney, dressed in his clothes, but with no Grees paint, he was standing against a wall with his arms resting on it.  
  
Rodey: 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 98, 99, 100! ready or not, here i come!! *steps away from the wall* Oh, 'ello Dorian! care to Join me and Nemona in a game of Hide and Seek?  
  
Dorian: No, where did the Vamps go?  
  
Rodney: I dont know, Why? are you planning o' crashin' the Date? that could piss mina off.  
  
Dorian: I dont care, where is Nemona? perhaps she knows.  
  
Rodey: I dont know where Nemona is, I was about to go to look for her, but if you want to know where they went, ask Henry, he knows, Mina asked him for Restaurant Recomendatios Earlyer.  
  
Dorian ran off, and on his way oput found Nemona Hiding in the Nemobile.  
  
Nemona: Dont tell Rodney Im in here!  
  
Dorian: I wont, but I need the car.  
  
Nemona: What? But Where do I hide?  
  
Dorian: The NautiuPock!  
  
Nemona: Good Idea, you may have the Car, but get it back with a full tank of Gass.  
  
Dorian takes the Keys as Nemona hops out, he Drove to the Apartment of Jekyll, and hoped upthe Stairs till he Reached his door, and Rushed in with no knock on the door, or any sort of announsment.  
  
As Dorian walked in, he noticed that lights were dimed and the sound of soft Jazz music played in the background, and as he turned the Lights fully on, Jekyll sprung up from the couch, he wasent wearing his Jacket or tie, his Shirt Unbutoned and there was some red paint smeered on his neck, plus he was anoyed.  
  
Henry: Dorian, Please tell me that Germany just attacked England.  
  
Dorian: Where did Mi..... Hello!  
  
A Beautifull redhead rose from the couch.  
  
Henry: *blushes* How rude of me! Dorian this is.........  
  
Henry couldnt remember, so he looked at his companion and asked.  
  
Henry: In all the Excitment, I think I forgot your name!  
  
C-Cup: No you didnt, You never gave me the chance to say it, My Name is Bernadit Gerard.  
  
Dorian: Pleasure. Im Dorian Gray.  
  
Henry: *whispering* Shes C-Cup(17) from the Moulin Rouge.  
  
Dorian: I see.  
  
Henry: And you Barjed in for?  
  
Dorian: Oh right, where did Kraven and Mina go?  
  
Henry: Dorian, I will ask a question and I want you to answer me truley, Will you go to where the Date is and Ruin it and risk a Chance of angering Mina and most likely your life?  
  
Dorian: Yes.  
  
Henry: Splended, there at the "*Insert name of French Restaurat here*) restaurant, which is in (*Insert adress of French restaurant here*).  
  
Dorian: Thank you.  
  
Henry: Your Welcome, Now go.  
  
Dorian leaves.  
  
C-Cup: Whos Mina?  
  
Henry: She works with us in the saving the world Industry.  
  
C-Cup: I see, lets make out somemore.  
  
Henry: Lets...  
  
C-Cup and Henry Makeout somemore.  
  
(16) A charcacter from the recent (Underworld)  
  
(17) If you donnt know who she is, see SCENE 1.  
  
_______________________________________________________  
  
I appologize for this not being the last chapter, but SCENE 10 would be up in no more than 24 hours, R&R. 


	11. SCENE 10: Crashing the date

as you all know, this is the last scene, Im glad you all liked it, Enjoy this.  
  
Here are the Replyes  
  
WillyBells*Ithink*: if you want you can check out my earlier fic "The League:LXG2" its also a parody, Im considering a sequall for this one, where the league goes to Las Vegas, and I plan to a Modern League Fic, it will called "the Bureau of Extraordianrys", Im Glad you liked my portrayal of Skier and Jekyll, Well Jekyll is balder and Manlyer, but Skinner is pretty much the same!  
  
A.L. Nowicki: Beleave it, and about Jekyll, well, its better than having him make out with Nemo isnt it?  
  
AngelX452: I liked your Ideas, I shall use the Invisbile Chick, Strange thing is that I been looking for a Non-self Inflected Invisible Person, thank you very much.  
  
Lucian_Vs_Raze: I dont Hate all Rapers, I just think that Todays Raps only goal is seeling CDs like hot cakes, granted that is true for other Genres of Music, but I think that Rapers use the same style, Lots of Chicks with Great Racks and with big Ass Asses hanging out of Baby sized pants, coupled with Other Forms of Eye Candy, and then you have a no talented SOB mouth Gramaticly Incorect sentences about Obscene Matters, All for the purpose of geting Laid and Paid, Rap used to be a Great form of Music and a true message, before it was corruped by fame seekers.  
  
SeanPaulDis: Hell No! On December the 17th of 1899, Skiner and Jekyll were not Slashing, Im not sure what to make of it myself, Rodney had a problem which he shared with Jekyll that he didnt want anyone else to know about.  
  
And Now, by popular demand........  
  
SCENE 10  
  
Mina and Kravin were siting at a tabel, waiting for there food to arrive, and Mina was silent while listening to her date mumbel on.  
  
Kravin: ........and as the Man-Wolf pleaded for Mercy, I stabbed him in the Chest with a silver Dagger, then used another to Rip off a patch of Branded skin off his arm. What do you think of that?  
  
Mina: *Bored* Spectacular, where is the Food?  
  
Kravin: What terrible service! a should have a word with the Manager!!  
  
Mina: *still bored* You should, Go over to him and give him a peace of your mind, Take your time, No rush, Neither of us is getting old.  
  
Before Kravin can get up, Mina spots Dorian barging in, as a waiter is following him saying something about him not having a reservation.  
  
Mina: Dorian, what are you doing here?  
  
Dorian: I need to speak to you.  
  
Waiter: Mam, Do you know this man?  
  
Mina: Yes I do, dont worry he will be out momentarely.  
  
Waiter: Sir, I Expect you to be out of here in five minutes. *Leaves*  
  
Kravin: Dorian Gray? What are you doing here?  
  
Mina: You know him?  
  
Dorian: I tought him to be an asshole.  
  
Kravin: I am not an asshole! leave now!  
  
Dorian: Yes you are, and one of the best might I add, Mina, I need to speak with you.  
  
Mina: Cant you see Im busy?  
  
Kravin: Yeah, leave.  
  
Dorian: Shut up!  
  
Mina: *stands up* You have sixty seconds.  
  
Dorian: I dot want you to be Dating him.  
  
Mina: And You assume that I care about what you want because?  
  
Dorian: I care about you Mina!  
  
Mina: Likewise, but that dosent Intitle me to tell you who to relate with.  
  
Dorian: Are you even Interested in him? I know the asshole, I know hes a boring lying SOB, and I know you will be miserabel with him.  
  
Kravin: Mr. G.....  
  
Mina: Shut up! I appreciatye you Concern Dorian, but Its up to me what I do with my life, even if it is Dating Boring Vampites!  
  
Kravin: *stand up* Mina, your very beatifull but this dateis over!  
  
After a pause, Mina gives him a Over right hook, and the asshole hits the flore, Mina then turns to Dorian and grabs her Purse, and start Pummeling Him with it.  
  
Dorian: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!  
  
Mina: *still pummeling* You Have some nerve comming here and ruining my date, who do you thik you are?  
  
Dorian: Ow! Im your, Ow!, your friend Ow!   
  
Mina: *stil pummeling* Not good enough.  
  
Dorian: Ow! Im your, Ow!, your coleague Ow!   
  
Mina: *Noe pummeling harder* Not good enough.  
  
Dorian: OW! IM THE DUMB BLOCK WHOS IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU BITCH!!  
  
Mina stops pummeling and looks upon Dorian in suprise, all of the restaurant customers look upon them in astonishment, the Waiter approaches.  
  
Waiter: Mam, sir, ill have toask you both to leave!  
  
Mina punches him the same way she punched Kravin, and he fell right on top of the Vampire, Mina bares her fangs and turns to the restaurant customers.  
  
Mina: *yellig* What the Hell are you all lookig at?  
  
The Customers look away, Mina turns to Dorian and looks touched, two bats emerge from her somhowe and fly around her.  
  
Mina: Sorry, that happens when I get too suprised!  
  
The bats reunite with her, but her fangs stay bare.  
  
Mina: You.....Love me?  
  
Dorian: Well, yeah.  
  
Mina: *tears start dripping* You never told me that before, not even as a lie, you would sometimes tell me that Im alright, or That you like me, or that Im a very Naughty Girl, but never before have you told me that you love me.  
  
Dorian: Well....I do.  
  
Mina: I Love you too.  
  
Dorian: THATS GREAT! Hey, If I kissed you, that would be ok, right?  
  
Mina: Sure!  
  
Mina and Dorian leap towards each other and share a Frencher, the Customers applaud in Joy.  
  
Mina: *kiss* I love you.  
  
Dorian: *kiss* I love you too!  
  
Mina: *kiss* I want to stay young forever with you!  
  
Dorian: *kiss* I want to have your babyes!  
  
Mina: *kiss* Thats fine with me!  
  
The Donkey from Shrek: I ALWAYS LOVE A HAPPY ENDING!  
  
********************************************************  
  
Heart warming, isnt it? The Immortals are back in the sack, to share there love and lust, BUT THATS NOT THE END, There is an Epilogue, you dont want to miss that, do you? R&R.  
  
PS: there Might Be a sequall. 


	12. EPILOGUE

By next morning, The League knew about Dorian and Mina, and were very happy for them and decided to leave them alone so they could have some privacy, or so they would think so.......  
  
Dorian and Mina are kissing on Minas sofa.  
  
Dorian: *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Mina: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Dorian: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Mina: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Dorian: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Mina: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Dorian: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Mina: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Dorian: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Mina: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Dorian: No, *kiss* I love you more.  
  
Mina: *kiss* Well be at this all week.  
  
But as the immortals were necking, they didnt notice that the door to dorians place has opined, and a few seconds later, the door to Minas Bedroom opined as well, and from the shoebox with Minas stuff, out floated a Movie Reel, then it floated to the window where it Opined, and Rodey who was carying the reel, yelled out.  
  
Rodney: Psst, I got it!  
  
Edward Hyde grabed Elain and threw her in thee air, and she flew to the window where she took the Reel, and then fell into Hydes arms, Elain and Hyde got into the Nemonabile, and waited till Rodney came down, and they all drove off.  
  
Edward: Lets go, I want to see mina and Dorian in action, especially Dorian.  
  
******  
  
Back on the Nautiulus, Jekyll, Skinner and Elain sat anxiously on a couch while Nemona loaded the reel onto the Projector, as soon as she was done, she sat among them as they began eating Popcorn and Drinking beer in amusement.  
  
The screen showed Dorian speaking to the camera.  
  
Dorian: And Now Ladys and Gentelmen, Miss Willhamina Cubain.  
  
The Camera cuts to a young Mina, aproxemetly atthe age of 23.  
  
Mina:(18) *does guitar playing gestures* We passed upon the stairs, we spoke of was and when,Although i wasn't there, he said i washis friend  
  
Which came as some surprise ispoke into his eyes  
  
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago  
  
Dorian: Nanana Narana na nana na na, Nanana Narana na nana na na, NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. *does more guitar sounds*  
  
Mina: *does exagerated electric guitar hand gestures that include lots of hip movement* Goodnight Detroit!!!!!  
  
Elain: Eh, I would have ratherd watching home maid porn, but this isnt too shaby itself.  
  
THEND  
  
(18) The song would be Nirvanas "The Man Who Sold the World" 


End file.
